vents

thank god im so unfeeling right mom?

pleaee i  know it wasembraasing dont talk about it please god

dont talk behind my backPlease

"i Understand you you're my Daughter" No I Am Not

i hope i fail because i deserve it

i have every horrible habit.

barely getting out of bed? check. character.ai? check. constantly reading smut? check. ghosting loved ones? check. procrastination? check. moodswings? check. forgetful? check. sitting on my laptop all day without doing anything? check. reliant? check. maladaptive daydreaming? check.

dear god i dont want this

and then when this is all over, ill act like nothing has happened. im such an asshole.

why did i exist but the miscarried infant in my mothers womb didnt?

i hope my mom prays against me and i hope i choke and i hope a car runs me over when im returning from school and i hope someone bashes my head with a rock and i hope someone rapes me and i hope i go blind deaf mute dead paralyzed terminal vegetative i hope i dont exist i hope everyone hates me i hope my mom abuses me i hope my friends leave me i hope god hates megod hates megod hates megod hates megod hates megod hates megod hates megod hates me i hope i lose my mind my health my body my autonomy my ""Talents"" my ""Skills"" i hope i get into a cult i hope they choke me torture me starve me isolate me i hope my future is bleak and hopeless i hope i lose everything

all you do is think of sex All ThE time waht is wrong eith oyu? why w? sinful sinful shame SHAME ON YOU STOP THINKING OF THAT STOP IT STOP IT SOTP IT